Security Makes Me Gag

I had a dream last night that I was "working" at a mall filling in for a friend in the security department. I was wearing this really cute uniform. It was weird though.

The 'stockings' were over the heels and it was almost like a full body stocking to go under the clothes, but not attached in one piece. It was a skirt suit type outfit with a hat, except the jacket had short sleeves and the shirt was really a leotard with long sleeves. Really weird to explain, but really, really cute.

Anyway.

There was a criminal that came in and instead of using my weapon against him I talked to him (cause I'm not huge on shooting someone). Management saw this and decided to hire me. Apparently everyone else had a "shoot now, ask questions later" attituded.

I was happy and all. I really got to show off my uniform then (technically I wasn't supposed to be wearing one while I was filling in but I looked damn sexy in it).

So, I finished my day at work and went home.

I had a step-sister in my dream (I only have a younger brother). I walked in and she was gagging herself, trying to make herself vomit.

I walked in nonchalantly and said to her, "There really is no point in doing that."

She said, "What would you know?"

Then I told her, "I would know that you're just going to f**k yourself up. I used to have a eating disorder. If you're going to do anything you should probably just eat raw. You have a better chance of losing weight and you can actually eat and really be healthy."

It was the first time in my dreams that I actually admitted my eating disorder to someone who wasn't screaming at me. I felt so much better after that. I've been really struggling lately.

I guess it's okay, I had had my eating disorder from the time I was 8 or so until I was 19--though I still have a few rough days. Over half of my life has been spent feeling like I'm worthless, fat and hideous. So, to feel free to give advice in my dream to someone that wasn't hurting them seemed like some sort of mental improvement to me.

All in all, it was a good dream. I think I learned something. I'm not sure what yet. But I feel it.